Dear Sara,

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Yours truly,
Chuck Wood

Dear Chuck,

I bet you thought that’s not a real question, but it is – and there’s actually a real answer to go with it (thanks to Cathy Lussier for researching this). New York State wildlife expert Richard Thomas studies woodchucks. A single woodchuck could, and does, chuck approximately 35 cubic feet of dirt while digging a burrow. This is 700 pounds worth of earth. Thomas reasons that if the substance were wood rather than dirt, the amount would be the same – 35 cubic feet or 700 pounds, depending on how one wants to measure the woodchuck’s chucking work.
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